(Public Domain/Finch)

In Heaven there is no beer
(No beer?!)
That's why we drink it here
And when we're all gone from here
Our friends will be drinking all the beer.
 

In Heaven there is no wine
(No wine?!)
So we drink till we feel fine
And when we leave this all behind
Our friends will be drinking all the wine.
 

In Heaven there is no fear
(No fear)
So we worry too much here
And we drink ourselves full of beer
To help us when we deal with the fear.
 

In Heaven there are no drugs
That's why we hang with thugs
And when the Lord pulls the plug
All the thugs will still be selling drugs, yeah.
 

Thugs and drugs
Beer...
 

In Heaven there is no sex
(Oh no!)
So let's do that next
And when our muscles no longer flex
Someone else will be having sex.
 

In Heaven there are no wars
Or cars, or movie stars
And when we no longer are
The world will probably still be having wars.
 

What the heck! Yeah!
 

Sex and war,
Bars and cars.
Drugs, thugs,
And delicious food.